I met Kelby today

Heavenly Father thank you for your protection on our travels to Honduras. Thank you for such an amazing start to what looks like is going to be an amazing month. Ministry today, day one, was HARD. The first time I heard we were partnering with a ministry that works with disabled adults I wasn’t really sure what that looked like. I wasn’t really sure what we were going to be doing and how we were going to be helpful or even effective. I quickly learned after a quick tour of the campus that we were here simply to love. Simply to share in your joy that you have for these people. I was excited and looking forward to pouring into a type of unknown that’s new and different from what I’m used to. 

And then I met Kelby. 

Lord, Kelby wrecked me. In all areas he wrecked me. Physically, his frail wheelchair bound body contorted in a position that showed the need for the wheelchair. Emotionally, he was nonverbal only making noises and avoiding eye contact. Mentally, he wasn’t cognizant of his surrounding or even aware of what was happening. God I felt my heart ache alongside yours in this moment. Flies were all over him and the smell of urine was so strong I found it hard to breathe. I wanted to give him a bath, change his clothes and just hold him. My heart settled in sitting next to him and brushing his arm and talking to him. I prayed to you that you would bless him and surround him in a love that only you can provide. A sense of peace and belonging in his day to day life. I laughed and danced and sang with the others in the home and desperately wanted Kelby to be able to join in. But I felt your presence there with him. I can’t fulfill his physical, emotional or spiritual needs. But I know you can. You know Kelby like no one else and you know exactly what he needs. 

I desperately wanted this world to be without pain and suffering and disability today. I wanted you to wipe away all the suffering I saw and restore it with an everlasting joy. But I soon realized that would leave me not really needing or wanting you. I needed you today. I needed your peace and comfort in the face of distress and discomfort. I wanted reassurance that Kelby knows you and feels you and will be restored and healed in heaven one day. There are so many questions and unknowns but what I do know and clung to today is that YOU ARE GOOD. Even in the most difficult situations YOU ARE GOOD. When I’m confused and not understanding YOU ARE GOOD. Help keep me mindful of this even if that means giving me more moments to seek that. I love you and love that you love Kelby like no one else on this earth can. I find peace in that for today. In Jesus name, amen.