Bye Belize // Filled

What a month it has been. Belize was incredible in so many ways. I went into month one with no expectations. I had hardly any prior knowledge of Belize, what our home was gonna look like for a month and what our day to day was gonna be. It’s easy to have no expectations when you just have no clue what to anticipate. And man, the Lord provided just a great time of learning about a new culture, opening my eyes to so much in the world beyond America and teaching me what it truly looks to go beyond myself for the sake of others.

One of my favorite moments from Belize was our few days at the local high school. Word got out that we were in town and so we were asked to speak in the religious studies classes to share our testimonies and what God has been doing in our lives. So over two days we shared our stories in twelve different classrooms of high school students. Wow did God provide. Several of us, including myself were worried about what to say and just feeling caught up in the ‘assignment.’ 

Day one: task oriented. We entered the day like we were on a mission. We were doing this for God, not necessarily with God. Our testimonies evolved a little bit over each class but for the most part we had our speech down. Afterwards we were all drained. Like exhausted beyond understanding. Sure it was a long day, yeah we talked a lot, repetition can be draining but we were done for the day. I desperately sought out quiet time to be with Jesus the following morning before heading back to the high school. 

Day two: Jesus oriented. During my quiet time I read the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 in the book of Matthew. I’d always loved this story just in the shear awe factor. Jesus and his disciples took a few loaves of bread and some fish and fed thousands and thousands of men AND women and children that weren’t even counted. As I was reading I began to notice a key point in the story I’d never picked up on before. Jesus blessed the small amount of food then gave it to his disciples to distribute to the people. He multiplied the food in THEIR hands. Jesus could have easily multiplied AND distributed the bread but he wanted his disciples to share in the joy of giving. I immediately felt the high school as Him multiplying in our hands. He wanted us to rely on Him and do it with Him, not for Him. Lightbulb moment. It totally changed the way I went into the day. So classroom number one, I was ready to share with the kids and I felt the Lord so clearly say ‘share that.’ Of course I knew exactly what that meant. But I hadn’t rehearsed, I hadn’t thought about a way to share the story let alone teach about it. ‘Ok God, if you want me to share this you have to provide the words.’ So heart pounding, I was next to share and felt Him multiplying in my hands. I shared with the kids about my Jesus that I love and follow to the point of abandoning home and the known. I shared how He loved the disciples so much He allowed them to distribute the food to share the joy that Jesus was experiencing. That’s the Christian life. Jesus doesn’t need us, but he does want us. He wants a heart that loves Him and loves what He loves. 

I loved that day. I felt the Lord working in a new way and found myself needing Him and His words in each classroom. And He totally provided. We all walked away from that day feeling filled. I felt filled in a way that the disciples must have felt after feeding the 5,000+. I felt filled in a way that the 5,000+ must’ve felt having eaten their meal. Jesus just has the best way of filling you up if you’re open to it. Be open to it.