Warning: this blog is not for the faint of heart.
Those that know me well know that when I’m struggling with something I tend to be more quiet and reserved and a little more in my head than I should be. I tend to find it difficult to put into verbal words how I’m feeling and what I need from others. Funnily enough Jesus is no exception to this. I’m going to try and be transparent to what I’ve been struggling with these last few days.
I recently started reading a book called ‘Half the Sky’ which is about the oppression of women in various circumstances all over the world. It’s been heavy to say the very least. I’ve spent the last few nights in tears avoiding sleep over the type of evil in this world I could never have thought possible. It’s left me feeling angry, sad and utterly helpless. To spare some of the details, but fill in enough to share where I’m coming from, this book has really focused on the topic of rape. How in some cultures it’s deemed a man’s right. In some countries it’s more of a weapon of warfare for achieving power and instilling fear. And in all situations it leaves a woman destroyed emotionally and physically. For me personally I can’t think of worse happening to a female than that. My heart has been wrecked and drawn toward the horror and reality of sex slavery in this day and age. I keep coming back to the thought ‘if this breaks my heart, how much more does it break Jesus’s heart?’
As I’ve read story after story of the pain and shame women are needlessly put through all over this world I feel like I’ve come to know them. They aren’t nameless and faceless statistics to me, they’re women my age with probably some of the same passions and interests as me that have endured the unthinkable. I’ve poured over scripture trying to make sense of pain and suffering to that magnitude. I’ve been very future minded clinging to the verses in Revelation chapter 21 where God promises a new heaven and a new earth. Verse 4: ‘He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall their be mourning or crying or pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’
I’m not writing this blog because I’ve made peace with that. Quite the opposite actually. I’m writing this in hope that I find that peace in the pain and suffering moments. A peace that I know only comes from Jesus. A peace I can’t conjure up myself; I’ve proved that. I think these stories are so hard to hear because it feels like there’s nothing I can do to help these women on a page across the globe. But that’s my human-minded mindset. My Jesus-minded mindset is far greater. His spirit questioned me ‘if not me, than who?’ in the middle of a heart wrenching story one night. It lead me to pray for these women in a way that’s been quite unfamiliar to me. A type of pleading yet expectant prayer. Pleading for freedom for the young girls scared and alone trapped in brothels enduring the same nightmare night after night. Pleading for a supernatural type of healing for those that couldn’t give birth properly at such a young age and are now outcasts unable to care for themselves. Pleading for age old customs of young girls being forced to drop out of school to be married off to not be the norm anymore. Pleading for girls and women to have a voice. To have basic human rights. To have access to proper education. To be shown love and kindness and compassion in their society.
Again I feel the question bubble up ‘if not me than who?’ Because to me that question feels more like the statement ‘if not me than no one’ if we all chose to deny or repress the things that bother and/or hurt us. I’m not relying on someone else to say those prayers about those women. That would be a disservice to myself not to mention the women. So with that question I challenge you. What’s something that bothers you enough it’s actually rendered painful? Maybe it’s something you hear about on the news. Maybe it’s something you see in a friend or even a next door neighbor. Maybe it’s something you’ve been carrying around with you for long enough. And then ask yourself if you’re not willing to do something about it, than who is? I believe the answer lived out will surely shock the world. In the best way.
Love you and will support you in daily prayers too!
Kaitlin, this is so powerful. Often times I feel the exact same way for myself and for others. I will join you in prayer for these women and will also be in prayer about you and your heart. I love you, sis. Thank you for sharing this with us!
Kaitlin, I’m so proud of you for your vulnerability in posting this. I was so moved by this post. God has obviously put these women on your heart for a reason and I will also be joining you in prayer for them. I love you and am so grateful you’re my teammate 🙂
Wow, this is so good Kaitlin. What a powerful blog. This was really motivating to myself to be intentional about praying for anything that breaks my heart because I can’t just assume somebody else will. I love you and your heart for others!
Thank you sweet friend of mine. The Holy Spirit definitely urged me to write this, I honestly didn’t want to at first. Thank you for your encouragement. Love you!
Thank you my beautiful friend! This was 100% the Holy Spirit through and through. I’m so thankful for your encouragement, love you sis!
Thank you sweet friend! It’s powerful what can happen when we’re obedient to the spirit. Thank you for your encouragement, love you!
I love how you think of other people and bring such an awareness to this issue, it’s like our culture is blind to these issues. Keep shining your light my friend, the world needs it.
Because of your powerful words I will start praying for these girls as well. I am so glad you chose to go on this journey and take us all with you so we can help with our prayers.
God Bless,
Sandy
Thanks girl, love you!
Thank you Sonjia! Love you guys!
Thank you Sandy! I appreciate you coming alongside me for this and for my journey! I’ll be praying for you and Guy!